Well...not a wedding yet, but one is on the way. My lovely partner Sherry and I are officially engaged!! This took place on the 25th of February 2011 ( our 100 month anniversary) in the Royal Botanical Gardens in Melbourne, Victoria.
Just a massive weekend with so much good stuff going on. But let me tell you about the days leeading up to the proposal...a very nervous time for me.
Around two weeks before Friday the 25th of February it twigged in my mind that firstly it was our monthly anniversary date, and then secondly that it was 8 years (96 months) and Nov, Dec, Jan, Feb - thats a fruther four months...ONE HUNDRED MONTHS!!! If I don't do something now THEN when do I do it. It's time to make a decision I thought and either make a commitment or admit that perhaps it wasn't to be. Naturally I was always on the side of commitment, but just knowing that in my mind I was going to propose in around 2 weeks was kind of scary.
I'd missed other opportunitiers where I almost proposed, but each occassion there were things that were a bit off. In Santa Barbara 2 1/2 years ago we were on the beach and it was just a real loevly night. Perfect sunset, great colours and it was great to be with Sherry. But at that stage I'd given up my jovb to come over and see her so it seemed irresponsible to propose to someone without having any financial means to get married or to really bring anything to the table. (Where was my confidence looking back on it. I was bringing MYSELF to the table!)
Another prime occassion would have been on the south rim of the Grnad Canyon, or ANYTIME at the Grand Canyon for that matter. That is just the most amazing place on earth and I'm sure we'll both go again. Again this time no job. Also someone else did the same thing the day I would have done it. So it wasn't meant to be. Coupled with the fact on both days I never had a ring. Haha.
So yeah nearly 100 months in and its time to rock n' roll. I had to work out how it was going to be done. Numerous ideas had come to mind, firrstly proposing at the place where we got together 100 months ago. Elephant Wheelbarrow in St Kilda. I'd thought about bringing in photos or a picassa slidshow with our song on it to play and to say 'Hey look up there!', I thought about inviting close friends to be there to help celebvrate once she said yes. I thought about sitting in the exact same spot where we sat in each others laps.
Around a week before the 25th I decided to go an scout the location, so I thought I'd meet Sherry for lunch at her work. We had some Asian for lunch and then walked back. But after saying good bye i U-turned it back to the pub (all of 2 doors) and went inside to suss out whether it would suit.
Turns out I didnt think it would, I wanted it to be special and i didn't think a pub was a good enough spot. Not classy or romantic enough and probably at that stage really loud, busy and possibly the odd drunken bafoon in the midst.
Other ideas were hrie a band to play our song (couldn't find anyuthign suitable), sky writing by plane (what if its dark or cloudy?), at one stage i'd thought of fireworks, I also thought of learnign one of our songs on guitar 'Here Comes the Sun' by The Beatles. But time flies by and without even knowing what was happening I'd ummed and arred and it was 3 days before the 25th.
Monday 21st
Back one day, but a very imoportant component of preparing for a proposal, getting a ring! All along I'd planned on taking Sherry shoppinf for a really ncie ring after I'd proposed but I wtill needed a ring to offer Sherry when I asked ehr the question. So I finished work around 3.00 and headed to Chadstone to look for a proposal ring. I felt pretty comfortable about this because, I didn't really need to be to worried about it fitting, and being in the right price range. I ended up in Zamels and had a look at some nice reasonably simple rings. I eventually settled on a nice ring that had small diamonds through it which I thought would be suitable for a wedding proposal. I knew diamonds meant weddings and stuff, but it ne3ver twigged on me that it's because 'Diamonds are Forever', so I'm glad i did by a slightly mroe expensive ring for the proposal.
Thursday 24th
This was a really scary day. Today I had to ask Sherry's family if I could marry her. Once you do this there is no turning back, let alone the possibility of them saying, 'Yeah...Well...Acutally...No...'. First person I wanted to speak to was her brother as he was the hardest to speak to considering he was over in New York. I'd mistakingly tweeted to him, privately I thought at the time, 'Hewy, When you get a cfhance I need to give you a call to talk about something'. Sherry saw it!! Arrgghh, How do I cover this up? So I tired to pretend that I wanetde to get Sherry something from Boston. I'm pretty sure she didnt think that that was ture, but hopefully it through her off enough for her not to suspect an up and coming proposal.
It was around 1.00 pm when I spoke to Jeremy. I saw he was online on skype, so i msg'd him 'Up for a chat?' or something like that. We talked for a little while about what he'd been up to but all the while in the back of my mind I was thinking - geez he's gunna ask 'So what's up?' or I'm going to have to say 'So the reason why I wanted to speak to you is....', so it was really hard to digest what was being said.
He was cool about it to, actually going outside to a phone bototh just to chat to. He's been staying in dorm's (a good cheap option overseas), so he couldn't talk in there and you can imagine how loud it would be on a New York Street.
So yeah then came the moment 'So what's going on?' and said 'Well I was wondering if it was okay with you if I asked your sister to marry me'. And from his reaction I can just imagine himi smiling so wide his face might not have fitted in the phone both and he said 'Defintely, definetly'. 'This is all good news' and he told me how I'm screwed now' which was funny. But yeah it was very important from my perspecttive for him to be okay with it as it was with her mother and also her sister. So that was a really special moment for me, him being the firsst person I'd spoken to.
I then texted Sherry's Mum and asked her to call me during her work break. She called me up around 3.30 or so and we also had a quick chat and she then also said 'So whats up?', and i said 'I was wondering if it was okay with you if i ask your daughter to marry me'. Now, you have to be careful with Caz and be preapred for her to say anything. I was half expectin gher to say, 'Oh yeah which one?''but she said 'You're supposed to come down and ask me that in person'. I was a bit taken aback by that because obviosuly I wanted to do everything right so I was wondering if I had really stuffed up here. I would have liked to, but it's along way to go and I would have needed a ruse to get out there without ariousing more suspicion with Sherry. I should have jsut said I'm going to Rodders hosue to watch a hockey game come to think of it.
Anyway, she seemed very pleased, and I think she had a bit of a teary on the other end of the phone and she also said 'Welcome to the family'. which was nice, but I've really felt part of the family for many years, so Caz, I'm wonderin gwhat will change treatment wise from you once Shez and I do become usband and wife.
It must have been tough for Caz with that news too as I found out from Sherry later that between the time I asked Caz on Thursday and when I popped the question to Sherry they had both spoken 3-4 times over the next day. So good work there.
I then called up Molly and we had one of our silly chats as usual which quickly degenerate sot making stupid noises down the phone, but I also managed to ask her what was needed and she seemed really excited.
Friday 25th February
Proposal day! 100 months!! The hardest part about today, asides from teh proposal itself, would be being nonchelaunt enough so as not to arouse suspicion. This meant being non-commital about where we went out, but all the while ensuring that we went somewhere and maybe having 2 plans on the go depending on what actually happened.
We'd narrowed it down to going out in the city for dinner and then seeing the movie 'The King's Speech' afterwards at Crown, or going to 'The Hog's Breath Cafre' and then seeing the movie 'Ture Grit'. I really want to see True Grit. It's got 3 things going for it. It's made by the Coen Brothers, it's a western and it stars Matt Damon. tick, tick, tick! But the Hog's Breath Cafe? gimme a break! that wouldn't be the most romantic of occasions, and would have meant proposing when we got home from Chadstone cinemas. It owuld have been nice also to propose at home as we both love our house in Ashburton, but I really wanted to head into town so I could propose somewhere beautiful. Either besides the Yarra River on in one of Melbourne's nice parks.
Miyoto's in Southbank was our dinner plan for the city option, but I was having trouble getting through to make a booking. So I actually booked the Hog's Breath too. Seeing as though we "may" be seeing the King's Speech, I thought 'Hey! I could use part of the actua speech in my wedding proposal!' I know his actual speech is about World War 1, but if oyu think abhout the speech itself it was actually a really courageous speech by a member of the nobility to make, as he had a stutter and was very nervous about making the speech. This would also allow me to slip into character easily if I was nervous. And it was also a King making the speech, so it seemed like a good idea as I would be 'The King' making a royal, old-fashioned, romantic speech. Sherry has always compared us to Harry and ..... I cant rememebr her name', but iI just felt it would be really classy. It would also give me a chance for the speech to really creep up on her. At first she would think I'm just doing the King's speech, but with a different lines thrown in hopefullly it would become mroe apparant as the speech went on that I was doign something really romantic and there before she knew it I would be down on one knee proposing to her.
On teh way home from work I stopped in at the Bottle Shop and bought some champagne. I've got no idea when it comes to champagne so I relied on the expertise of the staff. Got a nice bottle that he said would taste good and is also like the bacon rossi roll 'a little bit fancy'. When I got hom eI called Mum and let her know of my intentions for the evening. That put a big smile on her face, she hasn't had much good news of late so I felt pleased I could put a smile on her dial with something relaly happy and possitive about to happen. She wished me the best and I told her I'd call her once the deed was done.
Before Sherry came home the Miyako Japanase restaurant called back and I was able to make a booking for 7.45. e then got changed and went to the gym, something I didn't really feel like doing as I wanted to have more time in the city to enjoy dinner, walk around int he parks and do everything we wanted to do, but if we didn't go the gym it would seem a bit suss. Plus going to the gym was a great way to kick off the weekend.
The whole night would be hard too, considering that as soon as I was in her company form when she came home, I'd have to play it really cool and not act nervous or overly excited which is really hard considering you are about to propose in the next 4-6 hours.
When we got home i canelled the hog's breath reservation adn we got ready to head into town. I had to make sure we left early enough too so that we could park in a nice spot. It would be back to plan B if we we werr runnign late and I had to park in the Crown Casino. Nothing says romance like proposing in a multi level carpark.
I'd find out later that Sherry was getting suspicious. when I was putting nice clothes on and doing my hair without complaining. Silly me!! haha. Apparantly she texted Laura and said 'We are going out somehwer efor dinner, he's suiting up and he had to ask my brother something. I'm nervous'. Laura apparantly texcted back saying 'Well put your best dress on and say Yes!'.
When she was in the bathroom I had to find a way to gety the ring box into my pocket with her, firstly not noticing me getting it out from it's hiding spot, and secondly not noticingt a square box in my pants pocket. I tried closing a few doors but that didnt work. It was a realy test of my slyness I knew for the while night too I'd have to ensure Sherry didnt touch my pants on my right side too, as if she touched it the jig would be up.
We left at around 7 which was good as it meant I could park in the city. I remember her calling out to me before we left, 'Who's driving', and I replied hastily 'I'll drive!'. was a pretty bang bang play, and was a giveway in hindsight. I said I wanted to park along the Yarra so that we could have a walk, I don't think I mentioned that it would be a good warm down from our gym, but that would or waws a samrt excuse.
She didn't protest either which made me a little bit worried that she was fine with parking so far away. There were heaps of cars along Alexander Avenue and also in the Botanical Gardens so we ended up parking past the Shrine. A nice walk. Geez. A nice long, long long walk.
We walked through the gardens towards the arts centre and southbank. It was a really nice walk. I had to keep Sherry on my left and I used the excuse 'I'm walking closer to the traffic, so you are safe' routine. As we walked through the Shrine I was thinkign what a nice spot this would be to proposse, as it looks down Swanston Street, has an altar with fire and is jsut a relaly impressive sight. But when you thinkl abotu what the Shrine stands for it didnt seem appropriate. Firsrly becaus eI already had my speech based on a war speech (romance up and royal see my reasoning above), and secondly it would be disrespectful. I dont want our relastionship to be based on war. I saw the movie 'War of the Roses starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner back in the day. It was comical in a way but didn't look like the ideal relationship.
Neverthless we made our way down, I was asking Sherry what all the little places in teh Garden's were in case she di know that nay of the plces were sentimental or romantic in anyway. Damn, I forgot my glasses! oh well wont be able to read the menu! Never mind as we headed back to the car alter on that I wouldn't be able to rea my bloody speech!!!
The Smeegal Tent was back outside the front of the Arts Centre. That wa a ripping show we both saw about four years earlier. Highly recommend. Many other people obviously knew how good it was as the queues out the freont were massive.
We got the Japanses restaurant pretty much righ ton 7.45, took our seats after finally finding the entrance to the restaurant. Our seats were great.. We were right next to the window overlooking the Yarra river and Flinders street station as well as the scrapers behind it. The light was begininng to fade so it was nice to sit ther and look out as teh city changed from day to night,
It was good we were sitting directly in the opposite corner to where the Tepinyaki was tkaing palce, which was actually in another room, but it was good we were in a more private spot. We started off with some Sake. It took the waiter ages to come over to take our order and I was gettin anxous because I wanted to make sure we ate quickly enough to get to the cinemas to see the King's Speech. How stupid would I be giving Sherry my speech if she had no point of reference!!
But Sherry jstu said relax, and she'd rather enjoy dinner than feeling rushed, so from that point on I was more elaxed and I thought 'Hey, this is the biggest night of your life, jsut enjoy it. Don't worry about fittin geverything in. just enjoy each moment as it's an ight I'll rememebr for the rewst of my life' (This blog will hlep too!). And I did.
Sherry's meal jsut made mine look plain silly. She ordered a delcioius teriyaki steak ordered rare (not uncoooked) and it was just cooked to perfection. Melt in your mouth stuff. My Sashimi, which I always considered a sure thing, jsut didnt work for me. I just was eating it thinking 'I'm really enjoying the texture of each merat and the sauces, but I can't really distinguih enough betwene the different pieces tto be enjoying like one should. So you yeah, I've mde a deciosn, no more sashimi!. A big call. I'll still eat the rolls and thigns though.
Dinner did go on and it became apparant we were difinetly going to miss the movie.The movie was due to start at 9.15 and it was already 9.10. When we left we thought we'd walk down to Crown anyway and check out was was on. On the way down we passed by plenty of buskers on southbank doing what they do. One of the buskers, well actually 3 of them, were playing U2's 'With or Without you' and that was a special moment. We held hands and I could have relaly proposed then. Sherry later told me that that would have been a good monet too, but I like the way we did it becaus e I wanted it to be jsut us and in a nice spot. Southbankl is nice dont get me wrong, but too much cement. it would have felt like a streetwalk proposal.
I remember a rave Shery and I went to at QBH one New Year's. Around 6.30 am when we left i remember walking over a bridge corssing the Yarra. I don't know whether it was becuase of teh ngiht's events or what but I remember how still, quiet and beatuiful the city was that morning. i remember hearing a cyclist ring their bell as they went under the bridge on the north side of teh yarra and it jsut rang out so distinctly like there was only no one around. It was such a magical moment. Kind of reminding me of the beauty of a place and happiness. Similar to when Ray and Debra are riding the bike together when they are in Rome.
Tonight was just like that. There was no wind, it was perfectly still. Southbank and the Docklands are notrious for teh air ahving a real bite to it when you are waling along in the exposed areas, but tonight it was calm peacful night. Along southbank and outside crown you couldn;t hear any cars, just the very light murmour of people talking and footsteps. No other soudns. No yahoo's sceraming and carrying on. Just gently footsteps and light conversation. It jsut felt peaceful.
Much of Crown was being renovated. 'New beginnings' I think looking back on it. or 'making something better'. Nothing too appealing was on at th emoveis so we walked back towards southbank. There was only one more thing i could think of befor ethe big moment. It was kind of weird all night for me, I knew it was coming up, it seemed only minutes away but then it seemed like hours too. We stopped and gotr ice cream in southbank. I really enjoyed mine, honecomb, vanilla raspberry and choc mint. Good 3 scoo combo.
Then we were walking back to the car. Now I knwe it was coming up. Oh my god!1 Oh my God!! Oh my God!! Sherry was walking on my left and she put her hand in my back pocket. She felt all the paper (my speech) and said 'What's with all the paper'. I said 'That's my King's Speech'.
'Do you have a little box to stand on to give your speech?'
I chuckled to myself thinking 'Yeo you are spot on acttually'
We walked up to the Weary Dunlop statue ande that was set high above and I thought hey this would also be a good spot, but wstill wasn't going to do it here. As we walked down the steps our sore bodies from the gym and we were groanign out of soreness. I laughed again to myslef thinking how if we had just done the proposal and then walkjoing down the steps as newly pronounced husband and wife to be and we are groaning and sore.
We continued alking along past the Shrine and it was then that it twigged tha not having my glasses meant that I'd ahve to go to the car first and not let her get in so i could get my lgasses out and do the pseech in the park, NOT in the car. Also ahead of us there was a group of 5-6 people walking slowly back to their cars after a picnic or something. They were a bit rowdy and i didn't wan tthem to see mye propose beacause i'm sure they would have a field day. Luckily the continued along the main road as i turned down Dallas Brooks drive to go the car, and slowly their sound faded off into the background.
The sprinkler was on on the side of the road near the car I remember opening the door etting my glsses and saying, okay i have to give you my speech now. So Iwent over to the other side of the road overlooking the park. No one else was in sight. Ahem. Geez this was hard. I knew she would know soon enough that it was actually happening if she didnt already.
King Murray's Speech
In this historic hour, perhaps the most faitful in our history, I send to every one of my people, but particularly you Sherry, this message, spoken with the same depth of feeling for you as if I was standing in front of you now.
In recent years, we have stood unified together and overcome challegne after challenge, not weakened, but strengthened in our commitment and love for each other.
But if we don't stand united now, I fear myslef and the common man will be kept in bondages of fear, and all hopes of peace, justice, liberty and love would be neded.
This is the ultimate issue which confronts us. For the sake of all that we ourselves hold dear, and of the wolrd and peace it is unthinkable that we should refuse to meet this challenge.
It is to this high purpose that I now call on you, Sherry of Clan Cusack.
You have proven over years of service to be a worthy and honourable woman, who carries herself with grace and a sense of humour that any member of the nobility would love to hold near.
Your radiance and glow are unequalled throughout the realm -
Play Ipod music - Let's Stay Together - by Al Green
From your puppy dog eyes to your Mutly laugh. You have the face of an angel and the soul of a person more special than any man deserves.
Ring out and down on one knee
It is this time, that I King Murray of the Clan of Green with everything in my heart, head and body ask
'Sherry Anne Cusack Will you Marry Me?'
Now, I'm pretty surce i got down on one knee i recounted maybe 50% of the words i wrote down and the rest was 'Yes this is really happening' and just fumbling over the words i'd written trying to say them. I did say the last part right im certain of it.
And most importantly her response was
'Yes!' - and she gave me a hug. I had to ask her if she said 'yes' again and she said 'a thousand times yes'
It was the most bvulnerable moment of my life and i felt awkward, determined and proud all at once while giving the speech. Sherry's reaction as i was giving the speech and after it I'll never forget. Just tears of joy, smiles, kind of overjoyed disbelief as well.
I then returned to the car and retrieved the champagne i had placed in the back seat before she came home and we sat on a seat overlooking teh park and had some celebratory champagne. I was so relieved i had gotten through it without dying. Now it was time to really enjoy the moment and relax and enoy OUR moment.
I did want to let ourt Mum's know straight away though, perhaps even befoer she wanted to. She looked still in shock and jsut so happy, just tears of happiness. She was overwhelmed. It was a fantastic moment in the still night air, just th two of us drinking champagne and kisssing and holding hands.
Our parents were really happy and it was good that we got to speak to them that night. Once home we watched the Bing Bang Theory 'The Toast Derivation Ep417. In bed at 1,20.
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